_____________________________________Hello everyone, it’s Rachel! I feel like I should say something about how it gets super confusing all the time because we have the same name, but it doesn’t, really. At first it might have, but we got used to it pretty quickly, and we just adapted. Now it’s like second nature to us, being able to tell who someone is addressing if we’re in the same room together. I can’t explain it, I just know if someone is talking to me or to her. Rachel asked me to share somethings about her that you would not normally know, so here: first meet our pumpkins from freshman year, then
2. She stays up way too late and sleeps too late.
3. Apparently my bed is the comfiest in the apartment, despite the fact that she has a huge bed of her own. You don’t understand how many times I’ve come into my room to find her snuggled under my blankets and totally unconscious. It takes her like three seconds to fall asleep.
4. Related to sleeping, Rachel is the hardest person to wake up, ever. It once took me a full five minutes of shaking and yelling and jumping on the bed to get her to wake up because she was in my bed and I needed to go to sleep.
6. We’ve spent so much time together since we met two and a half years ago, we’ve kind of become telepathic—we have the same thoughts at the same time. The other night at dinner, we were both kind of just playing with our food and not really eating it. I said, “You know, I can’t decide if I’m hungry, not hungry, or if I want to eat this just because it tastes good.” And Rachel gets this weird look on her face and yells, “Get out of my head!!” It happens too often.
7. The two of us are the queens of the sarcastic and/or random conversation. It will start with an innocent comment like, “I’m hungry.” She’ll respond, “I’m Rachel, nice to meet you.” And from there it will devolve into a dialogue about how Hungry is a weird name and how I would get made fun of all the time for it. One time freshman year we had an hour long conversation at like 3 am about what it would be like if everyone in the world was blind. We decided it would be inconvenient.
8. Rachel owns so many clothes she doesn’t have to do laundry at school. In fact, I don’t think she’s ever done laundry up here. She can go literally months at a time without doing it. And if she runs out of socks or underwear while still on campus, she’ll just buy new ones to avoid laundry.
9. She has weird phrases. That I invariably end up using by the end of the semester. Like, freshman year it was “totes-ma-goats.” I have no idea what it means. This year, she started calling Shelley and I unicorns, princess, muffin brain, or some variation of boobs.
10. Rachel cannot live alone. Last week she cut her finger – barely a drop of blood! – on a tiny piece of glass. She then proceeded to lay on the floor and whine about how it hurt so bad she couldn’t even get up to get a band aid by herself. If she ever decides to live alone, she’s going to need one of those Life Alert buttons so she can call for help with things like laundry and dishes.
So, now you know some things with which to blackmail Rachel – I mean, things she would never tell you herself. She’s a great roommate, despite all her, um, quirks, and one of my closest friends.