But I didn't let any of that bother me. Why, you may ask... because I had the best source of entertainment in the world. The SkyMall magazine!
So to kick off the New Year, I have compiled the:
New Lust List
|Sometimes holding my own beer can be taxing - thankfully Tex the Armadillo is here to help me|
|I am too fancy to roll up a sweater or rest my head against the window, I require a head barbell to support my baby-like neck.|
|I have yet to grow out of elementary school where I need to have everything bedazzled and wear colored plastic hair - thank god I can get bling string and clip-n-crystals to help!|
|Sometimes I like to pretend I am at the dentist when I eat, and this bib clip makes that a thousand times easier!|
|Finally! My dreams of becoming Mary Poppins can come true!|
|Mmmmmm, eye probes are just what I need to get rid of that pesky migraine - and they are soooo cool looking!|
|These are quite possibly the sexiest cowboy boots I have ever seen - and the best part is they will match with everything.... or nothing.|
|Regular showers are lame - I like to pretend I am John Travolta in Saturday Night Fever when I shower!|
|For when regular people socks just don't it, I can buy $30 Genuine Angora Bed Socks. Thank goodness - I was worried about that!|
|I should be expecting my 7 puppies in the mail any day now - nowhere does it say puppies not included. I checked. On every flight.|
|Now I don't know which is sexier - his hair cut or the torture device he seems strapped into!|
Happy New Year folks - stay safe!