New Year, New Lust List

In the past week I will have spent over 9 hours in transit. Now I don't mind flying. I actually kind of like it. This time might have ruined air travel for me forever. The first flight down to Texas was petrifying. The plane was so tiny - there were only 40 people on board... and that's including the crew. And there was turbulence up the wazoo! The second one was some new fancy type of plane. All I know is that it felt like first class compared to the earlier flight - at least that was until the baby started crying, the wind started tossing the plane around like a badminton birdie, and the guy behind me started kicking my seat. 

But I didn't let any of that bother me. Why, you may ask... because I had the best source of entertainment in the world. The SkyMall magazine!
So to kick off the New Year, I have compiled the:

New Lust List
Sometimes holding my own beer can be taxing - thankfully Tex the Armadillo is here to help me
I am too fancy to roll up a sweater or rest my head against the window, I require a head barbell to support my baby-like neck.
I have yet to grow out of elementary school where I need to have everything bedazzled and wear colored plastic hair - thank god I can get bling string and clip-n-crystals to help!
Sometimes I like to pretend I am at the dentist when I eat, and this bib clip makes that a thousand times easier!
Finally! My dreams of becoming Mary Poppins can come true!
Mmmmmm, eye probes are just what I need to get rid of that pesky migraine - and they are soooo cool looking!
These are quite possibly the sexiest cowboy boots I have ever seen - and the best part is they will match with everything.... or nothing.

Regular showers are lame - I like to pretend I am John Travolta in Saturday Night Fever when I shower!
For when regular people socks just don't it, I can buy $30 Genuine Angora Bed Socks. Thank goodness - I was worried about that!
I should be expecting my 7 puppies in the mail any day now - nowhere does it say puppies not included. I checked. On every flight. 
Now I don't know which is sexier - his hair cut or the torture device he seems strapped into!

Happy New Year folks - stay safe!


Kristin said...

Uh the haircut.

No, not really.
I hate air travel and it hates me.

Happy New Year!

Dara said...

lol! I want the 7 puppies too!

Evelyn said...

Your right, good entertainment:) LOL!! Too too funny:)

Just dropping in from the Hop to meet you and am now following via GFC:)

If you get a chance drop by, I co-host an awesome hop "Let's Get Social Sunday" where you can link up all your social sites (and your blog) to meet new friends and gain more followers:)

Hope to see you there, and Hope you have a Very Happy New Year!!

Kisha Jaggers said...

New Follower!!Found you via the GFC link up! Love your blog.. hope to get to know you better over 2013! If you have a second, check out my blog.. and if you like what you see.. follow back! Happy Happy New Year! K Jaggers

Michael Z said...

These are hysterical although I really do kind of want that shower head. And let's not *talk* about that haircut, instead let's just laugh non-stop.

Rekita Nicole said...

Just Stopping by to wish you a Happy 2013!!!!


Ashley said...

haha oh gosh that was great! What the heck was that sleep while standing up thing? A whole new level of laziness, I guess... but so funny.

I'm a new blogger, and I found yours through Living in Yellow- and I'm glad I did!


Eve Myers said...

I LOVE Skymall! The offer the creepiest-funniest things! I devour them on airplanes.

Allena Mistral said...

Bahaha I love Skymall!!! PS, I'm totally stealing your idea as I'm not sure what else I will do for the 13 hours of transit I have in a month :P